she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im six kinds of drunk right now
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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