i was born a porn star she said
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
