Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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