p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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