On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
