all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
