chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
