Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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