Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
