You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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