If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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