How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
