do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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