i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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