I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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