no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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