He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
