I wanna passion pit in your ass
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I need a beard to bite.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
