I just made out with a guy for $7.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
