Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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