dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
