I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
