btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
