please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love having hate sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
