So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All I want is dick and wine.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
