Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
