There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
