I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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