the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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