She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
