and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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