This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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