So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
