I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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