So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My cat gives me a boner
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
