That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
