plz talk dirty to me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
