The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
