i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
