your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
