For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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