My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have demons in me.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize
