so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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