This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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