i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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