dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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