is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
