Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
