you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
