You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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