I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
